GJ Stillson MacDonnell (niece)

Remembrances from a small child

My father, John was the oldest brother and the oldest of his generation. I am the eldest of mine and started my career as a test/ prototype baby for the MacDonnell clan. Diana and Tom, as well as a host of others, were diligent child care students.

Valerie, Barbara and Mac, if you experienced well positioned diapers and the "plane" spoon always flew into your "hanger"-mouths, remember I took a lot of pin sticks and took it on the cheek - literally, so your parents could perfect their skills and that they did. Tom was not half bad, for a Navy man.

Being the eldest, I got to be the fly on the wall to observe three generations. Tom clearly had the respect of his aunts and was well-cared for by them. He was the quiet one in a family of often loud people. While he stood or sat to the side, he too observed. He always did what needed to be done, in his own way. He had the patience to untangle a fishing line and a few lives. I am forever grateful for his generosity when my mother became ill and my father distracted.

Fast forward to Albee Court, Larchmont. Did you know that Henry Stevens Son and Stiles is today probably America's oldest bookseller? As a child it was all so confusing: was is sons or son? Stile or Stiles? Which came first - Sons or Stiles and what is a "Stiles", anyway? Getting it right was the price of admission to the "office".

Henry Stevens was a great place for Tom to make a career. First, he came from a family of bookworms (in the best sense of the word). Second, he had the patience for scholarship. Third, with that smile, he could sell ice to Eskimos.

Going to "Henry Stevens" was always a wonderful treat. Shelves and shelves of leather bound books, none with call letters, but all with little paper flags sticking above the binders.

Somewhat musty, but in a respectful way, the office was a place with big wooded desks, fat leather chairs, squeaky desk chairs, typewriters, smell of tobacco - ashtrays, humidors, loose tobacco, tobacco pouches, pipes, pipe tools and more pipes and pipe cleaners that could be fashioned into everything but a book!

Books, pamphlets, broadsides, maps, unbound manuscripts - were all feasts for the eyes. If you were really very good and could sit still and be very, very patient and promise not to touch, Tom, or sometimes Rollie, would talk you back through history.

As a small child, the trip to Henry Stevens was an adventure; as an adult, it was an education. As an adult, spending time with Tom, in the office, was both rare and wonderful. History could not only be relived but seen in the documents that recorded and literally mapped it all.

The bridge to history was through Tom, who was very much the friend of and befriended by the books and their stories. Tom knew not only their stories and what went with what but he understood and absorbed their significance to both the business and history.

While Henry Stevens was about acquiring, trading, cataloging, evaluating and selling historical materials, it was apparent that these "possessions" meant more to Tom than being part of an "inventory". They taught him, fed his soul, inspired his life and were very much his companions on his own journey of discovery. How many get to do what they love for a lifetime? Serendipity was generous.

GJ Stillson MacDonnell
Berkeley, California

1 January 2007

Todd O'Donnell (son-in-law)

When I first met Tom the effect of diabetes had begun to take its toll on his body and was challenging his spirit. Tom being a quiet and introverted person began the hard adjustment of relying on others. This at first was a difficult transformation, but he knew full well as this disease progressed that he would become more reliant on others for support.

His life was changing; he accepted this and grew with this change. Tom was so very thankful to all who helped him. Throughout his remaining time he passed along his strong sense of dignity and grace spiced with his blunt sense of humor and wit.

As with some others I have ministered to over the years there was a feeling out phase, a testing period as to my sincerity and a period for Tom to understand the reason I was taking the time to rekindle the light of Christ within him.

After we got through that phase we had a discussion about the meaning of life. I had told him “Tom from my perspective the essence of one’s life is overcoming oneself”.

He looked at me sternly over his glasses, then packed his pipe and placed it in his mouth chewed on it a while. He then responded, “I’ve always considered that and no matter how else I have tried to think I always came back to that precise thought and now this disease leaves me no other choice. I've never been able to discuss this with anyone and now I’m here discussing this subject with you. Thank you.”

Tom had a deep love for his wife Diana, his daughters Valerie & Barbs and his son Tommy. He had a shared loved and respect for his children’s spouses, all his grandchildren, nieces, nephews, great grandchildren, brother, sister, his in laws as well as longtime friends. Very few conversations ended without him expressing his pride about one of his family members and their accomplishments.

While I was preparing my mother’s eulogy I came across a poem by Kris Kristofferson, which I feel, is appropriate to be read here today and heard by all whom he loved very much, especially Diana.

Thank you for a life that I'd call happy
Overlooking all that we've been through
When it comes to loving I've been lucky
Everything I am I owe to you

Thank for the little girls you gave me
Thank you for our bouncing baby boy
Thank you for the sadness
That you saved me from the madness,
All I'm crying now are tears of joy

Thank you for that burning sun that's rising
Golden in the air that smells so sweet
Thank you for that empty far horizon
That opens to this new eternity

Thank you for a life that I'd call happy
Overlooking all that we've been through
When it comes to loving I've been lucky
Everything I am I owe to you

I can assure you that God leaves nothing to coincidence. It was no coincidence that Tom passed during this time of the year. For at this special time of the year when the whole world stops to honor the birth of Christ and let the Christ be born into our hearts, we also come together as family to continue developing or repairing relationships with family and friends.

Tom reins tilled that love in everyone he met or to anyone who took the time to help him.

Now perhaps of all the thousands of antique books Tom has meticulously repaired, restored and loved his final chapter was his most unreservedly and comprehensive work. And then he humbly put his restored book back in its proper place on the shelf for all of us to reflect on, to share, and to be to in awe of, as needed to verify our family history.

-Todd

William James Stillson MacDonnell (nephew)

Uncle Tom will never go far cause I remember - sweet pipe smell, typewriter noises, all those books, Christmas trees and decorations, scaring vultures, sitting on Tom's lap, being hugged, feeling warm and safe, that pat on the head, the welcome and goodbye greetings, and getting my picture on the mantle too.

-Wink

GJ Stillson MacDonnell (niece)

Uncle Tom has always been there and I mean more than being older, he was always a quiet but strong force, taking care of things.

When I got to be a real adult, Tom was the Historian- Antiquarian, who patiently would pull me back in history through books and maps and a few tall tales.

Formality mixed with humour, insights mixed with a strong moral compass, are not easily replaced so it has been good that Tom left timeless imprints on my life.

-gj

Judi Edgar (niece)

I have so many happy and warm memories of Uncle Thom. Ever since I was a young girl,he would listen to what I had to say very closely, and then we would inevitably segue into some very intelligent conversation or I should say, lesson,touching on world history, or something of the like. Then he would end up complimenting me in some way or the other.I have a lot of visuals of him I'd like to share...hitting the tennis balls off the back porch to a number of different labs over the years,smoking his pipe, engrossed in reading a book or the paper, listening to music in his chair,getting wheeled down the aisle at Barb's wedding.I have always been very fond of him and he will forever hold a very dear place in my heart.

God rest His soul...See you in Heaven Uncle Thom!! I LOVE YOU!!!

-Judi

Katherine Davenport (cousin)

I became very fond of him in the short time I spent in Williamsburg, and remember especially that first Christmas we all spent together. How special it was singing Christmas carols by candlelight at the church in historic Williamsburg.

I also recall being moved as Thom slowly drove me around Williamsburg telling me stories about my glamorous grandmother (Granny Marjie) and her sisters. Every now and then his dour tones were broken by a chuckle, and the twinkle in his blue eyes was definitely that of a young man! He went on to show me round his office. I was particularly struck by the way he delicately, and lovingly, handled antique books as he spoke about the history of my great great (great)? grandfather, Henry Stevens. I still treasure the biography which he and Diana gave me as a leaving present.

-Kate

Tim Klotz (grandson)

When school was out for the summer he would take me to out to lunch occasionally. Just a sandwich on a weekday. Just to talk, and we stopped by the post office to pick up the mail in his postbox. Never rushed. Always a gentleman.

-Tim

From tpm

Valerie MacDonnell Copping (daughter)

Quiet
Tall
Meticulous
Antiquarian
Sifting the soil and planting the garden on Madison Ave.
Removing the willow tree stump, piece by piece, by piece.

-Val